Monday, July 13, 2009

When One Door Closes

Another one opens.

I don't want you to think I am feeling sorry for myself.  

As soon as I knew I had breast cancer I knew my marriage was over.  My ex husband is a good man and he is a decent father but I knew that we did not have the intimacy necessary for me to share where my life was going on a deep level...and I knew that the thought of him being there for me in any real way was terrifying for him. We had both been lying to ourselves about who we were.  Cancer brings out truth.  Ugly, terrifying truth.

I was supposed to be dead now.  But I believed I would live.  I not only believed I would live  but I was taught how to live. I used to be Blind.  I went to work, I drove my daughter to her cello practice, I closed my eyes and made love, I closed my eyes and made it through the day.

I have grown so much over the past few years.  I am a fabulous mother, I am a single woman.  I am strong.  I have received the Message of Love and it has saved my life and it has changed everything.

I started this blog to get inspiration from others and to share my own inspiration. I have just started to write but already I am touched by what I have seen and the kindness that has been show me.  Thank you all!

17 comments:

kate said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. And welcome to bloggie land. I can't wait to read more of your writing; it sounds like you are an amazing woman! :)

Kate

Sue said...

Melissa!

Girl you are amazing! Thank you so much for what you did for me and thank you for opening up in this way to others!

Love you....

Laura Trevey said...

Thanks for visiting
Bright, Bold, and Beautiful!

You sound like you are in a great place now ~~

xo Laura

Melissa said...

Kate that is very sweet of you to say and thank you!

Sue I love you too! It has been a joy starting blogging together on the same day and palling around a bit.

Laura..thank you for visiting as well, and yes I am happy now...

Michelle said...

You should be so proud of yourself Melissa....You really are whole now.

Jodi said...

I was very lucky to have a husband that not only stuck by me but was kind and compassionate. He's a gem. Someday, if you decide you want to, you'll find someone who will accept all of you that there is to offer. Until then, I hope you enjoy the hell out of being a single woman!

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

Michelle...i am proud of myself. Thank you,

Jodi...He was kind. It was just that all of a sudden everything that we had always lacked mattered so much more.

I really appreciate your support!

Irene said...

thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. you seem like a very brave woman. my dad is a cancer survivor also.

Gabby said...

Wow, what a story! I am so glad you started a blog! You seem like quite an inspiration :)

Have a lovely day!

Melissa said...

Hey Irene...I am so glad your Dad made it through as well!

Gabby...Why thank you! Part of the reason I am here is to spread the message of love for myself that I received!

Kat said...

You are a true survivor! I'm so glad you are sharing your story. :)

Mary said...

wow, just wow! Can't wait to hear more of your story!

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

ey kat...thanks for coming back again!

Hey Mary...you are very sweet, don't worry I am just getting started!

icancarryallthebagsandthebabiestoo said...

I'm moved by how inspiring you are.

You are BRAVE!

Yaya said...

Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.